Really - what?

Yeah, I just came back here and noticed that it's been a while since I posted... again. I think I've just been too depressed to write. After being soooo excited that I'd been offered a job, then... well, let me start at the beginning.

I went to an interview for an RN position in the OR at NMRH. I felt pretty good when I left. They called me back about two weeks later and asked me to come in to observe in the OR for the day. I followed a nurse around and watched what she did. We had a carotid endarectomy, a fem-pop graft, a bowel resection... so cool! I got to see so much! When I was leaving, the director of surgical services said to me "give me a call in a week or two and let me know if you're still interested in the position." I told her I didn't have to wait, I knew now. "I'm still interested." She said "well, then consider it yours!"
Ten days go by and I called HR and told the gal there what the director had said and that I hadn't received a formal offer in the mail. She said "I'm going to meet with her tomorrow. I can't say anything officially, but if that's what she said, then I'd say you have it."
Two more weeks go by, I get a phone call from HR saying that they "want to re-interview some people and we'll let you know when that's done." I immediately called her and said "I'm leaving in 2 days for Hawaii for 2 weeks. Did you need ME to reinterview?" She assured me that no, they were happy with me, they wanted to interview someone else who wasn't available until 12/23. (The job started 1/19/09). I told her I'd be available by cell and email while away.
I called HR back the day after Christmas (from Hawaii) and found that she was out that day and all the following week. I didn't want to call the day she got back from vacation, so I waited until that Wednesday. I called and left a message and asked about the job (which was supposed to start in now 12 days) and she called back and left a message that there were "last minute internal applicants that they had to offer the job to" - SEVEN WEEKS after telling me I "unofficially" had the job!

I was so hurt and depressed, angry, and betrayed. I planned on that job. I told people I had that job. I TURNED DOWN ANOTHER JOB because I was told it was MINE... now, nothing. How do I go about telling people I don't have a job. Is there a graceful way so that it doesn't look like I'm just trying to save face? So, instead, I'm not looking for a job at all right now. I'm ignoring the job search until my ego heals from the bruising and pounding it took. So, now I'm just concentrating on studying for my NCLEX and not getting a job elsewhere. I really wanted to work at that hospital. But, I didn't want to drive 100 miles each way to work. I'm sure something else will turn up... but still... such a blow to my ego and how unprofessional do THEY look now? I know it's not MY fault, but still, there's a part of my that wonders "what did I do wrong? What didn't I do right?"

A JOB!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so I've been slogging through the last 51 months of school with a clear goal in mind: get a job! All those late nights. All those stupid care plans. All those papers.... 9 chapter tests..... pop quizzes.... CPR classes.... 5:00 a.m. mornings and 4:00 a.m. bedtimes.... today, it finally paid off! MWHAAAAHAAAAHAAAA!!!

I was offered a job! Starting January 19 at NMRH in the OR. WHOPPEE!! More money than I've ever made in my life. Enough to pay off my student loans. Enough to pay for Thing 1's tuition in CASH next year. Thing 2 got a full ride (Thing 1 did too, but turned it down for a Big 10 school) so we paid his $750 for books and tuition each year so far... Enough money that my kids may be turned down for some financial aid next year, but it'll all be worth it.

I'm fully aware of the people out there who have lost jobs, fortunes, or nest eggs recently. I don't mean to rub it in anyone's face. I'm just glad that at 43 years old, I finally will have a job I LOVE and be paid accordingly. I have a nephew that lost his job on Halloween. I know that at 28, it's not a good thing to be looking for a job when you'd rather be looking for an engagement ring... or a house... or just food on the table. I have struggled before - working 3 jobs as a single mom with 2 kids and making less than $25k for the 3 jobs put together... The end is near. I just can't get too comfortable... Please, God, make me worthy...

HP and Lord WaldeMart

I saw this video today and almost laughed myself silly. Too funny (especially the bit on the bridge!) Way to go, guys!!





On a day like this, I really need a pick-me up. I had to take my son to the doctor's today and all was not a bowl of cherries.

The Last Week of Summer

One week from today is Labor Day weekend. Really? Where the heck did my summer go? I've worked so much this summer that I don't even feel like I had any time off. I know I went to PA for 5 days, but still - that was months ago. Maybe I'll feel like I've had a vacation when I get back to school.

Ahh, school. This is my LAST semester. Bittersweet, since I SHOULD have been done in May except for a nasty run-in with melted snow and a nasty professor... casts and clinicals just don't mix. I've worked three 12-hour shifts a week, taken a class online, and also done a 135-hour internship class at the same hospital I've worked. I feel like I'm ALWAYS at the hospital! But, in just 3-1/2 short months, I'll have my BSN and a minor in Healthcare Administration.

My husband and I talked last night and I said how bummed I am - the best GPA I can get is 3.48. Just .02 short of Cum Laude. Hubby, who meant well, said that it's a better GPA than "most people like you" could get. "Most people?" I asked with a hint of anger in my voice. "Yeah. You know, people who are full-time students, full-time moms, volunteer way to much at the kids' school and generally have a life other than school. Somebody who's not 22 years old and all they have to do at night is study." Hmm - he redeemed himself with that one.

So how come that .02 sticks in my craw? Why is it that I'd be thrilled for any of my friends to achieve that grade but I'm annoyed with myself? Because I know all the times I didn't give 100% (because I'd given so much of myself elsewhere that I couldn't) and my grades reflected that. Because I didn't try as hard with my business classes as I do with my nursing classes because they're "not as important?" Yeah, all that and more.

Sometimes I've just got to learn to let it go and look at the big picture - I'll be a REAL nurse. I'll have a great job to support my family. I'll have more time at home. We're going to Hawaii. We're not losing our house and no one I love has died recently. Get over yourself! But still, .02...

August, already???

Where does the time go? Already 3/4 of my summer is over and how come it's just *yesterday* that I got my first sunburn? Maybe because 1) I've been working 5 days a week either on the OB floor or doing my "other" internship in admin; 2) my dh has been away for 20 days in just the month of July and I'm the one who gets to shuttle the kids from point A to point B 24/7; or 3) it's RAINED on average 2-3 times per week, and usually on my days off. On the bright side, my grass and garden have never looked greener, but since my dh hasn't been home in 10 days, it's also LONGER than it's ever been... Why can't we just find a happy medium.

Only 4 more weeks and the kiddoes are back to school, me too! My last semester and then I can blow this popsicle stand like a bad memory.. and other than my degree, that's all this is going to be for me (I mean from Lake, not from the rest of the people in this town).

Five months from today I should be sporting a magnificent tan - from Hawaii. The countdown begins!

Trying Windows Live Writer

Okay, so I learned from Dawn at http://mom2my6pack.blogspot.com/search?q= about this Live writer... I'm going to try it.  Okay, here's where I live:

Seriously.  This was ONE DAY's snow.  Of course, it was several months ago... but always start with the dramatic, right?  oh - that green thing sticking out from the snow slightly toward the left of center- that's a 4" high bush!

Okay, this is where I live - does it make sense now? If you zoom out from the map, you realize I can see Canada from my living room (yes, literally!)

So, I'm looking at the MSN live weather and it's 51 degrees here.  I'm talking Fahrenheit.  And it's the first day of summer in 36 minutes.  Now, you know why I picked the picture above.

BTW, we got 126" of snow last winter (you're calculating in your mind how high 126" is.......You're clicking on "calculator".... never mind - it's 10 1/2 feet!!!!)  Yes, higher than your garage door.  about as high as from the ground to the roof of my porch in the above picture.  We had snow on the ground in May.  We had a wind chill of 42 last night at soccer  (and my 50 lb. 11-year-old was running around in shorts!!!)

When, oh when will summer come? Next week when we go to Philadelphia for a wedding.  Yeah, the forecast there will be 94.  Nothing like one extreme to the other!  (And, no, it's not a "dry" heat there.)

Again.. 3 months!

Okay, so three months have gone by since my last post - again. It's probably because I'm reading Dawn's Because I Said So blog... What a riot. I only wish I could write with her sense of humor! I do have one...

The other day at work, I was telling the other nurses about a story I read in the newspaper. I read that there was a study about some researchers using baby's first stool (otherwise known as meconium) as a facial mask because of the high protein concentration. I said it was really good for the skin because it would draw out all the impurities (you know how hard it is to get off a baby's butt and how smooth they end up feeling.) All around the nurse's station I see them making faces of varying stages of disbelief, shock, horror and nausea. One nurse is falling for it hook, line and sinker.

Then I say, "the only problem is when you have it on, people tell you that you look like $h1t!" They lost it. Sometimes I can pull it off.

Not Dawn. Daily, the girl does. I toss my hat to you.